Invisible Minority

In a rut...

2007-02-17T20:35:00.000-08:00

I am currently without a spiritual director, after having gone to a very nice, very holy priest for two or three sessions. It's quite a toughie to find a good one with whom you can be totally honest, as St. Josemaria bids us to be. Our SD must know our whole heart, our whole soul. There can be nothing hidden.

Sigh.

Oh, and speaking of the "saint of the ordinary", lookie what I have:

"The Forge". I love it, it's so teeny! The format is so convenient. Heehee.

It's been a while...

2007-02-17T20:27:00.000-08:00

In case you were wondering, "inochi no uta" means "song of life" in Japanese. (And no, I am not Japanese.)

Now you know. (Bill Nye the Science Guy!)

St. Peter, pray for our Pope...

2006-09-17T18:26:00.000-07:00

The Holy Father quotes somebody else and the media blame him for what that somebody else said. And let's throw in the ubiquitous violent Islamic protestors (some people need to learn new-- ahem, more peaceful --tricks)...

I love this line, go down to post #9. The MSM and most of the West's view summed up perfectly, "[be quiet], Church, we don't want to hear the truth". Of course, the bracketted words are my edit, but you can read the original (the effect is better) at CAF. Gotta love it!

And in these times, an excerpt from a beautiful hymn from the Adoremus hymnal:

"Round Peter's chair may all unite;
From blinded eyes the veil withdraw;
The minds of rulers set aright
Who bind your Church beneath their law;
Where faith grows dim and hopes are frail,
Thy kingdom come, thy truth prevail."

We Move Along...

2006-08-10T21:57:00.000-07:00

Thank God you don't have to deal with scrupulosity, if you've been so blessed. It's a mothership of a nightmare... Heh.

How to get out of the hole you have made for yourself? And how to separate what is your fault and what is not?

And the song, cuz you knew there was one coming: (emphases mine for, well, emphasis)

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be...
...not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these

I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear

My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken

Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after

We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
I am never broken

In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken

We are God's eyes
God's hands...

...We are God's hands
We are God's hands
-"Hands" by Jewel

Ruminating...

2006-06-04T22:58:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking about the similarity between St. Josemaria Escriva's spirituality and St. Therese of Lisieux's. People often think of Opus Dei (oooh... dun dun DUN!) when they hear of the former and of gentleness and meekness when they hear of the latter, but they are not that different at all (not that some people don't know this... I just like to state the not so popular obvious). It's all about finding sanctification in the little things, the mundane things in life; the Way and the Little Way.

Now what one needs to do to achieve that is to learn temperance and self-control... something quite lacking in yours truly...

"Love is not a victory march..."

2006-05-17T23:13:00.000-07:00

Does this happen to anyone else? I have an overly developed sense of sin, I suppose, and the weirdest thing is that I feel sinful for the sins of others as if I were the one committing the wrong... It's very wearying (is that the word?). I guess maybe I recognize myself in them? Or the potential? I dunno. It's not a nice sensation. Maybe there's something wrong with me. Probably.

How does one deal with this? Heh, maybe I really should call that SD at Opus Dei...

To call or not to call...

2006-05-15T19:21:00.000-07:00

"Cast me gently into morning for the night has been unkind..."

"...the major lift!"

2006-05-12T12:30:00.000-07:00

And may the Lord keep me in His grace.

"The minor fall..."

2006-05-08T21:52:00.000-07:00

Like I've said, sometimes others (once again Sarah McLachlan) express things much better than we ever could...

Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long-awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I've messed up
Better I should know [...]

We all begin with good intent
When love is raw and young
We believe that we can change ourselves
The past can be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I've messed up
Better I should know [...]

Heaven bend to take my hand
I've nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I've messed up
Better I should know [...]

Mesmerized

2006-04-26T12:42:00.000-07:00

I wanna give a shout out to Della from CAF who inadvertedly introduced me to G.K. Chesterton. I mean, I knew of him beforehand but had never laid eyes upon his writing... Now I am completely enthralled by the beauty and utter frankness of his logic. In fact, as soon as I have a bit of money I will run out and get myself some books!

So, all you forum-mongers out there, don't ever think that your posts fall on deaf ears (erm, or eyes). You will always have the lurkers (such as yours truly) with you...

¡Felices Pascuas! / Happy Easter!

2006-04-16T14:53:00.000-07:00

CHRISTOS ANESTHI! Alithos anesthi!!!

Alleluyah!

Announcement/Anuncio

2006-02-28T19:46:00.000-08:00

There will be a lack of updates during Lent as I am giving up the Internet for purposes other than homework. I can find better things to do with my time. This blog will resume after Easter.

He decidido no usar el internet ya que la cuaresma va a empezar. Dado a esto, no voy a escribir en este blog hasta el Domingo de Pascuas. Dios los bendiga!

Lone Wolf...

2006-02-26T22:25:00.000-08:00

I've dug my own grave again. I can almost feel myself spiralling down like last year, although last year it happened one term earlier... I've been irresponsible with my schoolwork and things like that. So, of course, the anxiety shoots up.

Heh. Nobody wants to hear about yet another depressed 20-something. But I've gotta release somewhere.

Maybe I will drop by the cathedral tomorrow and have a good cry.

A fairly useless post...

2006-02-24T21:49:00.000-08:00

Again I'm wishing for that Ask-a-Priest Hotline... *sigh*

And on a slightly different point (I didn't want to say "note", but, oh well, "point" didn't work very well, after all), here're some song lyrics:

From the summer to the spring, from the mountain to the air,
From Samaritan to sin, and it's waiting on the end... "Into the Fire", Thirteen Senses

Sigh.

This is gonna come back to bite me in the butt, isn't it?

2006-02-13T21:29:00.000-08:00

I have a theory. Yeah, that's right, I said (well, not on here, but I said it) that I wouldn't involve myself in the theorizing, but, well, what can I do? It happened along the way, I couldn't stop it. So. Naruto.

My sis, who loves reading about the theorizing that goes on in the Naruto forums and the like, has informed me of the existing theories. And apparently this particular one of mine has not surfaced yet, so I don't know if I really should be making it public... but I'll do it anyway. That way I can say, hah! I was right! (Or, if I'm wrong, feel really really embarassed and hide away for a while...)

OK, so people theorize about Naruto's lineage. Some say he is the Yondaime's son, or his brother, or some kind of relative. Well...

I say he is the Fourth.

There! I said it. (dun dun dun...)

The Dark Night? Or would that be too presumptuous of me?

2006-02-12T21:50:00.000-08:00

Sometimes other people express things much better than we ever could...

The winter here’s cold, and bitter
It’s chilled us to the bone
We haven’t seen the sun for weeks
Too long, too far from home

I feel just like I’m sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low

And, oh, darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I can love you much better than this
Full of grace, full of grace
My [L]ove... -"Full of Grace", Sarah McLachlan

Wishes wishes...

2006-02-11T00:54:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I wish there could be an Ask-a-Priest Hotline... It'd make life sooo much easier and I wouldn't have to worry so much.

I'm so tired of not being able to trust my conscience, because I know that I will try to find an excuse or rationalization for doing something that I shouldn't do. I wish I could stop offending God, I wish I could have a clear mind... A spiritual director would be soooooo nice to have, but, heh, I probably wouldn't even be able to communicate well, anyway.

But wouldn't an Ask-a-Priest Hotline be awesome?

This is how it is done...

2006-02-10T20:37:00.000-08:00

For the extremists, take note. Take a look at this, which is DISGUSTING and the lack of publicity goes to show just whose side the MSM are on... Much like that horrible cartoon of Papa Benny that barely anybody found out about last year. The double standard continues.

Read what the Polish Catholics did. That is how one protests. With civility and temperance. o.O

Holy Mary, Queen of Peace, Seat of Wisdom, pray for us here below...

Well said!

2006-02-10T15:17:00.000-08:00

I came across this post on CAF by the poster LatinCat (I hope you don't mind...):

"Give me a break. The Catholic Church teaches that a Catholic must be against abortion. To be pro-choice is contrary to the teachings of the Church. It is heresy. It is also a position that suggests that one in is in a schismatic state because to be pro-choice is to refuse to submitt to the Roman Pontiff in this matter. Pope Pius XII wrote the encyclical "Mystici Corporis Christi" which states that to be in heresy or schism is to be severed from the Church. Thus a person who is pro-choice is no Catholic at all. This has nothing to do with flaming. This is not an emotional matter. It is a rational conclusion."

A spade is a spade.

In regards to the violent response to The Cartoon...

2006-02-07T22:58:00.000-08:00

Check this out.

Niiiiiice.

Hmmmm.

2006-01-28T10:43:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking of making a podcast. I think it would be interesting. I wonder how one makes an mp3... I also need to get myself a mic... grr...

Every little thing she does is magic...

2006-01-25T22:32:00.000-08:00

So, I added the banner. I'd actually made it quite a while ago, two years or so back, for the K-Site forums. I never thought to put it here until now. Heh.

Grassroots

2005-08-02T22:45:00.000-07:00

The CA Forum is abuzz... Somethin's a-brewin', mwuah hah hah!

That's right, we're taking back the rainbow! It's a sign of God's mercy and love, NOT a way to flaunt approval of sinful, disordered behaviour. As one of the posters on CAF said, the gauntlet has been dropped... Wanna peek at HQ?

And here is my contribution...

Something That Struck Me

2005-06-12T23:58:00.000-07:00

Well, in all honesty it was more like the second time something of this nature has happened, but these two instances affected me more directly. And it gave me the weirdest sensation...

So on Saturday I was working at KFC and this guy comes in and says, "This is the first time I see a white person working here." And I was kind of shocked to hear something like that from just your regular neighbourhood in Canada. The oddest feeling came over me, like some psycho-somatic wave of... something, I don't know, but it so took control over me that I actually (accidentally) spilled some of the water that he had asked for... o.O Anyway, I couldn't think of anything to say except, "I'm Hispanic." I don't know if he took it as the defiance that I had intended it to be, but he replied with an "Oh, really?" and that was that. The sensation stayed with me for a little while longer, though... I don't know, maybe he just meant it as a harmless observation, only God knows, but it was such a startling comment...

Conversely, the second instance gave me the experience of the other receiving end (does that make sense to anyone else?) while I was working at this other KFC (same day, Saturday). This lady calls on the phone and asks about chicken and it turns out that she wants to order something for delivery, so I tell her that this KFC doesn't deliver but I can give her the number for one that does. I proceeded to give her the phone number and at some point (I don't remember too clearly, since the dumb phone was set at a really soft volume... in a freakin' mall... O.o) she said something like "Can I speak with someone who speaks English?" And I got that same weird sensation again, and again my mind went blank for a few seconds and all I could do was repeat, as calmly as I could, that we were sorry we did not deliver but I could give her the number of a KFC that did and proceeded once more to pass the number along. And she mockingly (or at least so it sounded to me) repeated "three-three?" Yeah, I have a faint accent that becomes much more obvious when dealing with "thr-" combinations. So what? Does this lady not live in the Lower Mainland where nearly everyone has some kind of accent? And I swear, I SWEAR, I heard a bit of an accent on her, too...

Anyway, I don't know. I just... This was something new for me, and that feeling (not a feeling feeling, but like some current running through you... maybe adrenaline...?) especially. I'd read about things like this happening to people, I'd seen it in movies, TV, whatever, but I'd never experienced it at such close proximity...

Actually, now that I think about it in a more detached way, I might have gotten that current-like sensation before, although in a much less startling way, upon hearing passing affronts to the Church or Catholic beliefs, but I'm not really sure. It could be hindsight. In any case, Saturday's little shocker was so sudden and in a category all its own, for me anyway...

Para los hispano-hablantes...

2005-06-11T12:20:00.000-07:00

Acabo de descubrir que en español los "blogs" se llaman bitácoras... ¿Alguien sabe por que? Yo soy un poco dunda cuando se trata de mi lengua materna ya que se me ha olvidado tanto, asi que no tengo ni unita idea... ¿Que tiene que ver "bitácora" con el hecho de escribir en la Red con este formato? (Les dije que soy bien tontita...)

St. Blog's

2005-06-10T23:26:00.000-07:00

Well, I joined St. Blog's Parish (even though I only just recently found out about it, I don't know why it didn't occur to me that such a thing would exist)... I hope the bloggers are actually faithful to the Magisterium, as they claim they are, because I'm so sick of dissenting Catholics. o_O

I lurked a bit on their forums and it seems okay, although of course with my paranoia in all things Catholic any little thing can jump out at me... Ah, such great sense of humour have I, no? (Answer: a resounding "no"... why am I talking to myself? Bah, never mind, we all do it. As The Incredibles would say, "Monologuing!" (Or, wait, is that really monologuing or is it something like auto-duologuing? And, did I just make up a new word? Does it make sense morphologically? Does it frustrate English syllable structure? All this and more, tonight on the National with Peter Mansbridge.))

Ah, I just had to do it...

Anyway. Um, what was I saying?

Soooo, private health care in Quebec, eh? (That's my attempt at talkin' politics. Pretty shabby, I'd say.)

And that's KEH-bek, not KOO-bek, people!

[Insert Question Mark]

2005-06-09T20:23:00.000-07:00

I still don't know what I'm gonna do with this blog. I will definitely keep it, it's just that I'm not too much of a writer... I'm missing inspiration. I saw someone with a blog dedicated to the Divine Office, I thought that was interesting. If only I could figure out something to write about...

Well, speaking of the Liturgy of the Hours, I have a favour to ask of you (yes, you!): pray for me. I need to get off my lazy cycle of sleeping in and missing Lauds and of just going to sleep at night right away without finishing off with Compline. I also have trouble with the Office of Readings, but let's just focus on Morning Prayer and Night Prayer for now, eh? So, you pray for me to get off my lazy butt and I will try to have a lil' more discipline, how about it? (Yeah, I know, you're thinking, "But what do I get out of it?" Gotta admit, you got me there.)

And I will, for now, retire to say Vespers. Oh how I wish I could chant well...

2005-05-28T01:15:00.000-07:00

DUDE! I actually remembered my password! w00t! Deo gratias!

Anyway, much has changed since my last post on here (September! O.O)... For starters, I now have a second blog that I frequent more. Sooooooooo I am at a crossroads as to how I will use this one...

Em, so... uhhh... well... ummm... OK, I'll find SOMETHING to write about... at some point...

And as you may have noticed, I will no longer have intsy weentsy font size... :P

A song...

2004-09-08T23:47:00.000-07:00

Just a little one. Don't have much to say this time, except that I am utterly transfixed by this song. I've just recently discovered Shaye, by my pure luck of hearing their song "Beauty" on the radio. I fell in love with the song and hopped online (of course), and 'lo and behold! They have sampling on their website! Funny I should mention that, because of the two artist sites I have visited that have had sampling I've ended up buying both their CDs. But anyway, once I heard "Godspeed" I knew I had to have their album, The Bridge. And they're Canadian, too! Who wouldda thunk?

So, yes, the song. Well, the CD was actually two CDs. One with the Shaye tracks and the other with two tracks from each of the three solo artists (THANK YOU!). They are all wonderful (well... I didn't like that last one... it's a bit morose, if you ask me...), but Tara MacLean's "Dry Land" just completely blew me away. It is incredibly beautiful, not to mention poignant. But not in that obnoxious, leftist way. This is gentle, honest, sorrowful. I will post the lyrics, but as fantastic as they are they still do not do it full justice.

Ergo, here is "Dry Land" (um, anybody know who wrote it? Tara MacLean herself, a friend, somebody else?) :

Looks like something’s coming
Looks like there’s gonna be a storm
Looks like everyone’s running
Looks like everyone’s torn

Hands to blades
As daylight fades
Hold this shaking hand
Swimming from dry land

Looks like everyone’s broken
Looks like everyone’s lost
Look at all the money we’re making
We don’t even see what it’s cost

Hands to guns
As nighttime comes
Hold this shaking hand
Swimming from dry land

Looks like war in the valley
Looks like war in the sky
Looks like war on the playground
First thing you learn is to lie

Hands to skies
For morning's rise
Why can’t we start again
Swimming from dry land
Swimming from dry land
Swimming from dry land

Posts will be even more sporadic (as if they weren't already) during these first few weeks of September since school has begun and I can't help feeling overwhelmed by my very very very scary History class. There's sooo much to read... AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

Plus I gotta find something to write about. Inspiration is not so easily snatched, you know.

¡Llamando a mi pueblo!

2004-09-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

No hay alguien por allá que venga de Nicaragua? O que todavia vive en Nicaragua? Me encantaria comunicarme con gente de mi propio pais, asi que si sos Pinolero dame alguna señal... Y hablando de esto, cómo estan las cosas allá? Cómo esta mi "hometown" de Boaco? No saben cuanto lo extraño...

And so it begins...

2004-09-01T18:55:00.000-07:00

Heh, so I finally gave in to the trend (I cringed as I did, though, I really did) and decided to start up my own blog. So what do you write in these things, anyway? Everybody else seems to go on and on about politics on them, but what the heck do I know about how that load of nonsense works? It's all a bunch of lies, dangers, and screw-ups and I can't keep it all straight.

OK, then, something else, perhaps... Ah, yes! Wednesday, comic book day. Why is it that Green Lantern fans are so exclusive? Take a look at the DC Message Board, they gang up on each other like adult hamsters sharing a cage. (Oh shut it, I don't do well on metaphors.) Why does it have to be Hal OR Kyle? It's ridiculous, are they so stubborn and blind that they can't handle both? The return of the Corps (and what is it with that dumb joke about the "crops"?) allows for more than one Lantern. Sheesh. And for the record, John Stewart happens to be my favourite.

Oh, and to those of you grinding on about AOS #631... He DIDN'T HEAR the freakin' bullet!!